Circuit board of love

Why is it that you always want what you dont or cant have? I find is so strange that the absence of something or someone can give you a whole new perspective on things.  All i want right now is what i no longer have, and at my own choosing is why it is gone! Why do we sabotage ourselves and our own chances at happiness? Part of me says there is a grand scheme for things and that whats meant to happen will happen, but how do i know whether to run for that bus or not? For if i dont catch that bus i could meet the love of my life on the next bus, but what happens if the love of my life was on the already departed bus?  So many questions, so many thoughts, and although we do all have answers for these questions, they will differ from person to person. So do i run for that bus or wait for the next? Is there already a path set for us or are we really the creators of our own destiny? Perhaps a little of both. I do much prefer the fairytale-istic version, like the version played out in all the hollywood romances. But really guys...... does stuff like that ever happen to you? Perhaps it is all their fault for giving us false hope and unrealistic expectations. I mean do you ever see the people in the movies not ending up with the knight in shining armour? you may say yes but think about it a little harder, they will always find something good like the power of ones self, or destiny, or even throw in some dementia and make us forget the pain and hurt we have been thru. Do they ever end a movie with a person in so much pain and hurt that they no longer want to live? again you may say yes but..... were they block busters movies??????????? again you may say yes, in which case good for you! But for the hopeless romantics like me.......... its the happy endings i remember. 

 I guess what im trying to point out is the fact that in the movies they always find some happiness, so why as the human race can we not do this in real life for ourselves? Maybe its just me being negative nelly over here but i just wish we as a society would focus on the good rather then the bad, its almost like we all have a built in circuit board of despair and depression, programmed to power up at any chance of happiness. So its up to us, thats right you and me to create our own happiness, our own destiny and to choose our own paths. So get out those sledge hammers and smash up those circuit boards people, or perhaps try to turn them into a circuit board of love. One that when it powers up, looks at the positive side of life. 

There is a chance the love of my life may have been on that bus, and he is gone now never to be seen again, so very sad i know!!!!. But ill find another bus, and if there is a love of my life on there then great!!!!!! but if not........ there are always more buses, or perhaps i might even walk........