Oh the irony of a name! my departed partner was of the name sebastian, the first and only sebastian in my life (well of course with the exception of the crab in the little mermaid)....... until 7 days ago i met a man named Sebastian who is what i believe to become a good friend, and now as i sit here on this warm tuesday afternoon i have just come from the hustle and bustle of the city where i was taken on a delightful lunch outing, eating baguettes on the riverside followed by coffee and cupcakes on degraves st with another man named Sebastian. You see the irony is that i still love and care for the first sebastian ever so much, I told him i loved him only for his reply to be "i love you too but i am not 'in' love with you" So as you can imagine that was that and i called it a day, well 7 months to be more precise. I still long for his good morning msg and afterwork phone call, the cuddles and head massages. But to be with someone who isnt in love with you........ is well i guess a life without LOVE.So do you thinks its a total coincidence that i meet 2 Sebastian's the week of our break up (i mean its not a completely common name), or is it the gods spitting in my face? perhaps its a warning to stay away from all with this name, or maybe a sign to say i need Sebastian in my life! Oh deary me too many options to even ponder! what to do? do i discard all with this name or just ignore? im not sure! I know that none of the new Sebastian's will replace the old, but i shouldn't even compare should i? its not fair really, but a aching heart is bound to i guess. So i have given nicknames to the 2 newbies, the first being Sleeve sebastian for the simple fact that he has half a tattoo sleeve, the second i have dubbed cupcake..... cute you may say? well on our first conversation we discussed our likes of doughnuts and cupcakes and he is of the opinion that cupcakes are the new Krispy Creme and promised to take me for cupcakes, hence the cupcake outing today. He suggested Max after i told him my predicament but i think cupcakes by far the better option.
I reckon there's a lesson you need to learn from the previous Seb guy. Otherwise you will be stuck groundhog style. People you have met will always fall into one of three categories, it's summed up in this neat ditty "a season, a reason, or a lifetime".
ReplyDeleteYou're a rock star. Thanks for my brilliant hair cut ;)
I honestly think that before you jump again into loving someone it's best to love yourself. Nurture yourself. Judge yourself less. Be gentle to you. You deserve to be treated awesomely by yourself.
xx